First up, we have Burpin’ Joe vs. Marvel’s Ant-Man. Ant-Man can shrink or grow to sub-atomic or giant sizes. However, either way, he is no match for Burpin’ Joe. Even on whiff of Joe’s disgusting belches can knock a man out. However, let’s say Ant-Man was ginormous. Joe’s burps reach just far enough to knock him out. However, Ant-Man would fall over, nearly smushing Joe. Luckily, Joe’s burps would be strong enough to keep a man with a very low density in the air, long enough to get out from under. Joe moves on to round 2. Next, we have Evil Barney vs. an Amphicoelias Fragillimus, the largest creature to ever live on Earth (if it turns out to be real). Reaching lengths up to 200 feet long and weighing as much as 270,000 pounds (122.5 tons), it could destroy the scheming barney with just one step. A. Fragillimus moves on. Next, there’s Rey from Star Wars vs. Voldemort from Harry Potter. The force is strong with Re, but she isn’t nearly strong enough to keep ‘Avada Kedavra’ at bay. Voldemort moves on. Then we have Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls versus Obese Man, a superhero who saves the world with his belly and his donut of doom. For these purposes, we will assume Bill Cipher has gained physical form. Though Obese Man might be strong and witty, he cannot hold off an unstoppable being from another dimension without a memory wiper, which is not part of his array of gadgets. In round two, we have Joe versus the Amphicoelias. The Amphicoelias would be much too large for Joe to hold off, making this an easy win for the dinosaur. It moves on. Meanwhile, Bill Cipher has to battle Voldemort. Though Lord Voldy has many spells, He can’t wipe out Bill Cipher either, taking Bill and the Amphicoelias to the final round. This one’s an easy win for Bill, who can just turn the dinosaur into gold. The end!
Teams are all over the place, in real life and entertainment too. Let’s see how those fictional ones match up. The teams in this tournament will be the original four Avengers, The Mauraders from Harry Potter,
the gravity falls main group, the original star wars trio (and Chewie), the Gargoyles of Nesbittlandia, The Ghostbusters, the four leaders of I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y (from the 'Parallel', the first book in the Antian Altiverse series) and the Raptor Squad from Jurassic World (no Owen included).
First up, we have the avengers vs. the Mauraders. Though they may be skilled at wand battle, a small group of just four sorcerers could not hold off the avengers with all those over-the-top powers that Disney uses to get money from marvel. After all, Iron Man could just fry their wands. Next, there is the gravity falls group and the original star wars group. Though journal 3 may hold lots of information, they are no match for a lightsaber. The Gargoyles of Nesbittlandia are highly skilled at many things, and the ghostbusters can only fight ghosts, so the Gargoyles obviously win. I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. of the Antian Altiverse is led by Obese Man, Splorp, Finch, and Lego Ant. The Splorp could lay traps of its goop that the (scientifically inaccurate) raptors would get stuck in, and Obese Man would finish them off with his Donut of Doom. Round two would begin with the Avengers versus the star wars group. The Avengers could easily defeat Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Leia, and though Luke Skywalker has a lightsaber, he could easily be defeated by Thor’s lightning. As for the gargoyles versus IDENTITY, Finch would be unstoppable with his multiverse-warping powers. That leaves IDENTITY and the Avengers. This is hard. Splorp could trap the Hulk, and Finch could destroy Iron Man’s power source and Thor’s hammer. Thor could not call up lightning, since Finch can redirect energy. Powerless, they lose against the forces of IDENTITY.